MZ: Let's get to know Clarice, the beagle we adopted. She's a an
eight or nine-year old beagle from the Humane Society who grew up with a family
in Texas.Clarice: Hello there! SC: Now then, I hear that you have some issues with dominance? Clarice: It's simple: I love to dominate, and I hate to be dominated! Oh, and I hate small dogs. SC: But aren't you also a small dog? Do you hate yourself? Clarice: Hey! I'm a small dog with a big dog's bite! SC: How was it growing up and living in Texas? Clarice: Yee-Ha! I love them cow polk! Though if you steal food in Texas, the penalties are a lot stiffer! SC: How do you feel about Clarence the basset hound? You're almost like the same animal! You're both aggressive, angry beasts, who want nothing more than to be the only loved, dominant dog! Clarice: Ooh, if I could write a list of 5 animals I was *not* fond of, he'd be all five. SC: So, what are your favorite hobbies? Clarice: Oh, I enjoy hoarding, barking, mounting O'Malley when I'm in a good mood, peeing on the floor, and, um, chasing the laser pointer dot across the floor... SC: Hah hah, Laser pointer dots aren't real! Clarice: Woof! Woof! [Chases laser pointer dot in a frantic way, then pees on floor when red dot disappears] SC: Sadly, this actually happens. What are your favorite foods? Clarice: Hmmm, pizza, ham sandwiches, and salmon! SC: Wait a minute, those are *my* favorite foods! Clarice: Funny coincidence. SC: Well, that's all the time we have this week... Come back next week, when we have an even more irritating, annoying animal. Eric: What the—?? |